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Author Topic: A letter from Mary.  (Read 33140 times)

Slither

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #105 on: December 08, 2015, 09:27:23 PM »
We've quickly gone from mourning our fallen rock-star to discussing his financial woes and family lifestyle. Congrats Mary, you did it.

Have no one to blame but yourselves for drastically misinterpreting her message. There was never any need to get all gung-ho about this. I'd say we should be able to discuss both civilly, the good and the bad, but when have STP fans ever been able to do that?
When STP had a cookout after filming the video for the Core single "Plush," Weiland made jerk chicken that was "spectacular," Dean raves.

lovemachine97

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #106 on: December 08, 2015, 09:41:38 PM »


Mary supposedly wiped him clean when they got divorced. So between that and collecting 60K a month in child support for at least a few years, she should be fine financially. I'd imagine Scotts massive child support payments became impossible after he got himself dumped from STP. But who knows, he may have gotten a good chunk of cash from the lawsuit settlement with the band.


Remember, it was 60k a month to maintain his lifestyle, which includes all of his expenses. 60k wasn't just child support.

We've quickly gone from mourning our fallen rock-star to discussing his financial woes and family lifestyle. Congrats Mary, you did it.


We can do both. We also discussed his financial situation more than a few times on here, especially after that Stern interview. In fact, it dovetails quite nicely into the alleged reason he spent so much time on the road, though I am starting to suspect that being on the road also allowed him to imbibe with impunity, something he couldn't do at home with his wife or around his kids.


While I question Mary's motives, I don't necessarily hate that it is out there. I think it is helpful to understand people are complicated. That Kobe Bryant at worst is a rapist but at best is a cheater. But he is also one hell of a worker and someone whose work ethic should be admired. We shouldn't reject the good we can learn from someone like Bryant simply because he was bad in other ways.


Similarly, understanding what kind of man Scott was and ended up being, I think, is helpful. I idolized him as a teen and a 20-something. But now, when I have a kid who does the same, I can have a conversation with him or her about pitfalls and dangers and how it is important to understand what to admire and what not to admire. And if my child DOES become famous for their abilities, cautionary tales are useful.


Remember what Eddie Van Halen looked like in 2003-4? He looked like death warmed over. The stories in Sammy Hagar's book are incredibly sad. He was about 49 at that time. He EASILY could have ended up like Scott. But you know what saved him? The opportunity to play music with his son. He went to rehab before the 2007 tour with David Lee Roth, got physically cleaned up too, and while he may be a prick, at least he is healthy with a great relationship with his ex-wife and son.


THAT is my only problem with Mary's article. Motives aside, what does it accomplish for her kids? Nothing. It could have accomplished something years ago. Maybe her last move was going public. Maybe the public shame would have done it. Maybe not. But waiting until after he died to do this, to me, tells me this really wasn't about her kids. That said, I think the article still serves a purpose.

DeadAndNotForSale

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #107 on: December 08, 2015, 09:57:03 PM »
We've quickly gone from mourning our fallen rock-star to discussing his financial woes and family lifestyle. Congrats Mary, you did it.

Have no one to blame but yourselves for drastically misinterpreting her message. There was never any need to get all gung-ho about this. I'd say we should be able to discuss both civilly, the good and the bad, but when have STP fans ever been able to do that?

The thread title is "A letter from Mary."  We're discussing it and giving our interpretations of where she was driving at.  I think the discussions have been pretty damn civil so far too, so what's the problem?
"I can sit there and feel a deep hatred for Dean and Robert, but when I hear them play guitar, I'm deeply moved." - Scott Weiland '94

JugeSTP

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #108 on: December 08, 2015, 10:01:35 PM »
I'm not going to loose my objectivity about it.  I refuse to get pulled into Mary's family drama in the wake of Scotts passing.  The intention of her letter was really to tarnish the man.  Btw, he made her a multimillionaire.  She's trying to come off profound but it really sounds like borderline rage. I think one day she will look back at it and regret she drug her kids through the mud by allowing rollingstone to publish that.  Another example of unhealthy exhibitionism and shamelessness.....who puts their kids out there like that?


I dunno. I think Mary's point is pretty simple, actually. She's saying that "hey thanks for the well wishes to me and my kids - but no need - because we've been grieving Scott's death for a long time now. Instead of being all sad about some guy you glorified even though you didn't know him and he was a bad person, go be a better father than he was".


It comes off bitter, petty and probably true. Is it disrespectful to Scott's memory? Yes. Was she better off taking the high road? Probably. I don't think her "letter" is inspiring too many people to "be better fathers". But it's definitely honest. Something to be said for keeping it real.


So my guess? She took this opportunity to set up a book deal. And she'll get to use those funds to take care of Noah and Lucy... Scott's legacy. Can't really blame her for that, right? I don't know how she brings in money these days but with Scott gone the family will need income. They deserve to be cared for, especially considering what they and Scott had to endure.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2015, 10:03:08 PM by JugeSTP »

Drew06

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #109 on: December 08, 2015, 10:11:44 PM »
I'm not going to loose my objectivity about it.  I refuse to get pulled into Mary's family drama in the wake of Scotts passing.  The intention of her letter was really to tarnish the man.  Btw, he made her a multimillionaire.  She's trying to come off profound but it really sounds like borderline rage. I think one day she will look back at it and regret she drug her kids through the mud by allowing rollingstone to publish that.  Another example of unhealthy exhibitionism and shamelessness.....who puts their kids out there like that?


I dunno. I think Mary's point is pretty simple, actually. She's saying that "hey thanks for the well wishes to me and my kids - but no need - because we've been grieving Scott's death for a long time now. Instead of being all sad about some guy you glorified even though you didn't know him and he was a bad person, go be a better father than he was".


It comes off bitter, petty and probably true. Is it disrespectful to Scott's memory? Yes. Was she better off taking the high road? Probably. I don't think her "letter" is inspiring too many people to "be better fathers". But it's definitely honest. Something to be said for keeping it real.


So my guess? She took this opportunity to set up a book deal. And she'll get to use those funds to take care of Noah and Lucy... Scott's legacy. Can't really blame her for that, right? I don't know how she brings in money these days but with Scott gone the family will need income. They deserve to be cared for, especially considering what they and Scott had to endure.

Is Mary disabled or something? She can't work like everyone else?

Down-Plush

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #110 on: December 08, 2015, 10:40:25 PM »
I get what she was trying to get at here and there's definitely truth to it, but part of me is kind of pissed off about how entitled she sounds. I don't know her, I don't care to. But if I'm taking this letter for face value, she sounds really bitter and really angry with Scott. Maybe somewhat understandably, but who the hell does she think she is to say some of this stuff. I agree with a few points here and there, but throughout most of the letter, I'm asking myself what gives her the right. Not interested in arguing or discussing it, just saying my two cents.

Aylin

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #111 on: December 08, 2015, 10:46:15 PM »
hi. first time commenter, new here but not to STP/scott just u guys gave me so much on here over the last few days to read, think about, relate to that i felt compelled to join.

Happy you joined, shame about the circumstances :(
It helps to be on here and among people who are genuinely saddened by Scott's death.
Thank you for your insights too. You're right, I think there are things Scott would so beautifully write about in his songs were things he couldn't live up to in life. Apart from the drugs. He lived up to that too well.

I think Mary's letter has divided us into people who admire the realisim of it, and those (of us) who would prefer some composure and respect. If she's going to write another book (I don't see it happening unless its a pseudo pysch parenting book), then she should have kept these words about Scott to herself until then.
So keep your bankroll lottery eat your salad day deathbed motorcade

Slither

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #112 on: December 08, 2015, 10:47:36 PM »
We've quickly gone from mourning our fallen rock-star to discussing his financial woes and family lifestyle. Congrats Mary, you did it.

Have no one to blame but yourselves for drastically misinterpreting her message. There was never any need to get all gung-ho about this. I'd say we should be able to discuss both civilly, the good and the bad, but when have STP fans ever been able to do that?

The thread title is "A letter from Mary."  We're discussing it and giving our interpretations of where she was driving at.  I think the discussions have been pretty damn civil so far too, so what's the problem?

Not sure who you're directing your question at, but if it's at me, I don't know, ask Sklash. I think we absolutely should be discussing this, but it seems like he thinks otherwise.
When STP had a cookout after filming the video for the Core single "Plush," Weiland made jerk chicken that was "spectacular," Dean raves.

DeadAndNotForSale

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #113 on: December 08, 2015, 10:53:30 PM »
We've quickly gone from mourning our fallen rock-star to discussing his financial woes and family lifestyle. Congrats Mary, you did it.

Have no one to blame but yourselves for drastically misinterpreting her message. There was never any need to get all gung-ho about this. I'd say we should be able to discuss both civilly, the good and the bad, but when have STP fans ever been able to do that?

The thread title is "A letter from Mary."  We're discussing it and giving our interpretations of where she was driving at.  I think the discussions have been pretty damn civil so far too, so what's the problem?

Not sure who you're directing your question at, but if it's at me, I don't know, ask Sklash. I think we absolutely should be discussing this, but it seems like he thinks otherwise.

He's more upset with the way Mary presented her open letter than anything.  I see his point. 
"I can sit there and feel a deep hatred for Dean and Robert, but when I hear them play guitar, I'm deeply moved." - Scott Weiland '94

Blue

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #114 on: December 08, 2015, 11:53:43 PM »
For those taking this so negatively, please read, and re-read, this passage carefully:

Quote
This is the final step in our long goodbye to Scott. Even though I felt we had no other choice, maybe we never should have let him go. Or maybe these last few years of separation were his parting gift to us – the only way he could think to soften what he knew would one day crush us deep into our souls. Over the last few years, I could hear his sadness and confusion when he'd call me late into the night, often crying about his inability to separate himself from negative people and bad choices. I won't say he can rest now, or that he's in a better place. He belongs with his children barbecuing in the backyard and waiting for a Notre Dame game to come on. We are angry and sad about this loss, but we are most devastated that he chose to give up.

Noah and Lucy never sought perfection from their dad. They just kept hoping for a little effort. If you're a parent not giving your best effort, all anyone asks is that you try just a little harder and don't give up. Progress, not perfection, is what your children are praying for. Our hope for Scott has died, but there is still hope for others. Let's choose to make this the first time we don't glorify this tragedy with talk of rock and roll and the demons that, by the way, don't have to come with it. Skip the depressing T-shirt with 1967-2015 on it – use the money to take a kid to a ballgame or out for ice cream.

I don't see pretty mudslinging, or an attempt to profit from a tragedy. I see someone who is heartbroken and justifiably angry that the father of her children gave up on his family and his life.
Grab the hate and drown it out...

etcreative

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #115 on: December 09, 2015, 12:17:36 AM »
     

We've read it and re-read it......Mary is the parent and the adult here, yes its her job to 'shield' her children from this adult turmoil and dysfunction.  She did a pretty poor job of that by plastering a picture of her children all over rollingstone magazine.....

Just bringing us back out of the weeds again....

 Make no mistake Mary's letter is about more than her children, its about herself and $$$$.  After reading this I feel bad for Jamie and his kids mostly.  Lets remember Scott has a mother and father also....

 I believe she's telling the truth from her perspective about this.  Its believable.  It mirrors much of stuff we heard from members of STP and VR.  To a degree I respect her point of view as a mother.  Her kids have been abandoned and they are shattered.  But she has to act like a grown woman and assume greater ownership for her actions.

 Scott was a life long heavy drug addict and alcoholic.  They burn bridges and lie to support their addiction. And to make matters worst he's an artist....unfortunately if you read some credible biographies of these genius (actors, painters, musicians, writers, comedians etc.) you'll notice most of them are full blown narcissists.  They think they are better than you and me and nothing is more important to them than their 'art' and 'creativity'. 

 I can easily see him neglecting others to spend all of his time doing the things he loved (writing music, playing music, and doing drugs). 

 Today, I believe he never got clean.  He identified himself as a chronic relapser.  He would try and fail again. The circles these musicians travel in make it near impossible to get clean (old playmates and playgrounds).  I think his addiction systematically alienated him from anyone he would have to answer to.

 I also believe the heavy drug use caused brain damage.  I've watched tons of interviews and performances and there is evidence to support this.  He admitted to large parts of his life being totally lost in his memory. This would account for some of the things STP and she said.

 Okay get ready for real grown up talk.....You may not like it.....I don’t agree with her airing her personal family's dirty laundry with (rolling stone magazine of all places) the mass media after the guy dies.  In think its unhealthy for her family and a classless act.  These kind of issues should be handled by trained professionals behind closed doors.  These celebrities have no shame.  The narrative that the fans should feel guilty about enabling Scotts addiction is bullshit.

 Yes, his addiction destroyed his family and his relationship with his two children, but that’s not our fault. That’s his and hers.  Most of his fans are grown ass adults we can read between the lines and don’t need a full spread in RS magazine to shed light into the disease of addiction and the damage it does to families. 
 Mary takes little responsibility in her letter.  Now all the sudden she's not bi-polar?  Truth is if you read their biographies it sounds like they are both 'borderline personality'.  Similar pathologies attract each other.  And yes, she is an addict as well.....hope she hasn’t forget her 12 step program.

 She chose to live that lifestyle with that man and bear his children.  These are the consequences.  She suggests we (the fan's or society) should feel somehow culpable for Scott's self destruction and poor parenting?

 Ironically I bet if someone offered her a million dollars (tomorrow) for all the 'down and dirty' details about her children’s father she wouldn’t think twice about smearing the mans name....(oh that’s right she still uses his last name).

 I also think people (like her) underestimated how much this man was respected and loved for his talents.  I'm actually pleasantly surprised how much publicity and respect his work has received from the mass media since his passing.  Guys he was good and its deserving.  He had his major flaws - but he earned that.

 In the end its all politics.   Why feel the need to tell us he's an atheist?  After reading her 'letter' I feel a lot of the negative energy that us fans have felt on the outer edges of the network were generated from Scott's dysfunctional inner social circles.

 All of these people that have offered testimony on Scott (Dean, Mary, Matt, Slash, Richard Patrick etc) all happen to be addicts themselves.  When we read their 'finger pointing' we are experiencing their version of problem solving and family conflict. (victim, persecutor, rescuer -triangle) repeatedly.

 If no one cared about his death she wouldn’t feel so compelled to offer her point of view.  The opposite of love isn’t hate...its indifference....Mary clearly has unresolved feelings.  Scott hurt her and her children.

 60k a month is one hell of a child support payment.  I'm sure there was some major family conflict over that over the years.  Mary also seems a bit bitter towards him starting over with Jamie and her family.  I can understand why.

 I guess one would have to ask themselves, who gets most of the money from those ("depressing" 1967-2015 Scott Weiland) T-Shirts that sell?

 I feel horrible about this.  I feel nothing but sadness for Scott and his family.  I still cant bear to listen to anything of his music since his passing and I've listened to him almost every day of my life.  I grew up with him. As Scott's music evolved so did I. I didn't know him personally.  I've never met him.  He was a very flawed person I'm sure.  But I still love the guy....
     
 
 

Fear 2 Stop

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #116 on: December 09, 2015, 12:18:48 AM »

etcreative

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #117 on: December 09, 2015, 12:19:17 AM »
She takes no responsibility in this.

Toxic34

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Re: A letter from Mary.
« Reply #118 on: December 09, 2015, 12:44:08 AM »
You know, one thing I noticed no one is talking about is the fact that in her essay, Mary said "Perhaps we shouldn't have let him go." In other words, she's now thinking maybe she should never have divorced Scott and simply just continued to support him. Regardless of the full extent of Scott's relationship with Mary, Noah and Lucy, we know that when the divorce happened, particularly so close to his ouster from VR, it just absolutely shattered him. True we got the confessional material of Happy In Galoshes and S/T, but I'm sure he would've traded anything to change that one thing. If you were in Mary's situation, what would you have done?

Aylin

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So keep your bankroll lottery eat your salad day deathbed motorcade