A letter from Mary.

[Westenn]

She's grieving like the rest of Us but she's also looking at the her future & her kids...I can see why she is saying these things cuz if U think about it, Post-Death Commercialism does not go to Mary but to Jamie...so unless in the Will he gives it to Mary, it will not be like

Elvis and Priscilla
Jim and Pam
Scott and Mary, it will be Scott and Jamie which is why she is trying to get Us to stop listening to the Music (good luck lady) Jamie holds the legacy but I don't think that really includes STP since the lawsuit happened who knows how that pans out..........

I feel really bad for the kids...let me add that We will never know the reasons why he "stopped" seeing his kids...like My X never got to know his real Father cuz the New Wife wouldn't let him cuz she feared that if a bond was created that the Dad would want to get back together with his Mom...so many levels that there are truths and lies mixed in a pile of drama that the only thing that should matter is the Music...

[Sklashboombash]

I can see why she is saying these things cuz if U think about it, Post-Death Commercialism does not go to Mary but to Jamie...so unless in the Will he gives it to Mary, it will not be like

Elvis and Priscilla
Jim and Pam

We don't know for sure, but that's a valid assumption and let's say it is indeed PART of the reason...the mud-slinging is financially driven, which makes it, as mentioned above, tasteless.

[seattlesound]

Not trying to differ from anyone's opinion or anything at all here...

I feel like after reading Mary's letter a lot of us feel several different things.

When I responded earlier in the day, I was not trying to place Scott on some pedestal and rush to the defense of his personal life... I'm simply saying that his personal life is not for me to know. I cannot go through my music collection and think about every artist' CD I have and wonder to myself... "gee, what does this guy do with his kids on the weekends if he even has kids?.."

I'm not trying to be funny or sarcastic with anything I say, but I only know the CD's Scott Weiland has recorded on, and the videos or a stage where I watched Scott Weiland entertaining a room full of music fans.

I, nor none of us should have a guilty feeling after reading Mary's words about Scott's parenting skills or how he was as a family man...

I cannot stop and think when I hear a song on the radio that I like, and say man... I don't know if I like this yet or not, because I don't know this guy's personal life...

It's not my %#&@ business what their personal life is... if I like the person's music, then I go purchase it. PERIOD. I'm not supposed to pretend I know them. I'm a random person to the musicians and their family. I know my place... my place is to buy the music that I hear, if I like it... then the money goes to whoever it all goes to from there. I did my job. I'm not supposed to read something from the ex wife of a now deceased artist and then feel guilty that I liked what I listened to all those years.

I'm not saying Mary is lying and that Scott was actually an awesome family man... what I say is that I have no way to know the truth for one thing... and besides its none of my business as a music fan to know.

My apologies for rambling, but I hope somehow someone understands what I'm trying to say.

[Slither]

Not trying to differ from anyone's opinion or anything at all here...

I feel like after reading Mary's letter a lot of us feel several different things.

When I responded earlier in the day, I was not trying to place Scott on some pedestal and rush to the defense of his personal life... I'm simply saying that his personal life is not for me to know. I cannot go through my music collection and think about every artist' CD I have and wonder to myself... "gee, what does this guy do with his kids on the weekends if he even has kids?.."

I'm not trying to be funny or sarcastic with anything I say, but I only know the CD's Scott Weiland has recorded on, and the videos or a stage where I watched Scott Weiland entertaining a room full of music fans.

I, nor none of us should have a guilty feeling after reading Mary's words about Scott's parenting skills or how he was as a family man...

I cannot stop and think when I hear a song on the radio that I like, and say man... I don't know if I like this yet or not, because I don't know this guy's personal life...

It's not my %#&@ business what their personal life is... if I like the person's music, then I go purchase it. PERIOD. I'm not supposed to pretend I know them. I'm a random person to the musicians and their family. I know my place... my place is to buy the music that I hear, if I like it... then the money goes to whoever it all goes to from there. I did my job. I'm not supposed to read something from the ex wife of a now deceased artist and then feel guilty that I liked what I listened to all those years.

I'm not saying Mary is lying and that Scott was actually an awesome family man... what I say is that I have no way to know the truth for one thing... and besides its none of my business as a music fan to know.

My apologies for rambling, but I hope somehow someone understands what I'm trying to say.

That's fair. I just think for some of us Scott was not just another artist in our CD collection he was THE artist we paid the most time, money, and attention to. So reading something like this hits home a lot harder than it would had it come from the ex-wife of the guy from Franz Ferdinand or something.

[Pingfah]

I can see why she is saying these things cuz if U think about it, Post-Death Commercialism does not go to Mary but to Jamie...so unless in the Will he gives it to Mary, it will not be like

Elvis and Priscilla
Jim and Pam

We don't know for sure, but that's a valid assumption and let's say it is indeed PART of the reason...the mud-slinging is financially driven, which makes it, as mentioned above, tasteless.

It's not a valid assumption, it's a ridiculous, cynical and mean spirited conspiracy theory.

For a start, people not buying Scott's music doesn't benefit her at all, and secondly, why would anybody think Scott did not make provisions for his kids? She said he didn't see them recently, not that he cut them out of the will.

[Westenn]

I can see why she is saying these things cuz if U think about it, Post-Death Commercialism does not go to Mary but to Jamie...so unless in the Will he gives it to Mary, it will not be like

Elvis and Priscilla
Jim and Pam

We don't know for sure, but that's a valid assumption and let's say it is indeed PART of the reason...the mud-slinging is financially driven, which makes it, as mentioned above, tasteless.

It's not a valid assumption, it's a ridiculous, cynical and mean spirited conspiracy theory.

For a start, people not buying Scott's music doesn't benefit her at all, and secondly, why would anybody think Scott did not make provisions for his kids? She said he didn't see them recently, not that he cut them out of the will.

Hey, don't get angry at me...I've worked for Lawyers & I saw it happen everyday...I'm not far from this so called "conspiracy theory" that you choose to call it...I'm a realist & that's how it goes man...Death brings out the evil in ppl & unfortunately that is part of life...& like I said there are many levels to this & we're all grieving differently...I'm sorry to upset you but it's reality...PPL fight after death...I have helped write many Wills and the things I had to type was wrong in many ways but it is what it is.........

 

[Pingfah]

You haven't upset me, merely baffled me with your absurd ideas.

[Aylin]

And if the intention here was to not glorify this as a poor tortured artist, I think it could have been still been done more eloquently and without the divulging of personal details.

This is what I mean. She could have still talked about not glorifying drug use, the fact that they lost him ages ago and how its important to be present as a parent which Scott was not, without saying things like he was propped up of stage and talking about things like fathers day, his religious beliefs, him not inviting kids to the wedding etc. Its that kind of thing that makes its tasteless and bitter.

Also, regardless of whether he spent time with his kids recently or not, there was a time when he DID spend time with his kids. the kids know him, have been on stage with him, lived with him, had holidays with him - they do see hom as their father and it must be so painful for them to suddently lose that father and then have the mother trying ro ruin all the good memories too by spewing anger and accusation as the dead man.

[lovemachine97]

My aunt and her husband got divorced before I was born. He was a businessman, and he lived in Newport Beach. My aunt and the rest of my family live in the Inland Empire (both CA). Around 12-14, her two daughters decided to go live with dad, who had money and live on Balboa Island. One of them holds a bit of a grudge, saying they didn't think their mom did a great job and that is why they left. Now, what she doesn't know is that my aunt often didn't eat in order to feed them. Their dad still owes her over $30,000 in child support. I am 37, so you can see this is a long time ago. My cousins are in their 40s now.

Anyway, we've joked that my aunt ought to put in her will that she is leaving the $30,000 in back child support to her kids as a final 'fuck you' to her ex.

Scott told Stern he needed $60k to maintain his lifestyle, and that included child support, daddy responsibilities, and any alimony. We have been told in several interviews that he loves the album making process, but has to tour constantly to make money. It doesn't take a genius to do the math there. So when we find out that he was missing checks and an absentee dad who CPS wouldn't let alone with the kids and refused to go to their events or invite them to his wedding...well, I think I feel a little lied to. I thought at the very least Scott would be honest about that.

My point in bringing up my family business is that I can understand why Mary is angry. Once you have a kid, you have fundamental responsibilities, and he was implying that he was doing those things, and it turns out he wasn't. People are complicated, so I can separate feeling contempt for him continuing the cycle of dads leaving kids and the part where I think he was a good soul who lost a battle. I can appreciate the talent and hate some of his actions.

Mary has a right to be very upset. That said, the timing here is questionable in that it does NOTHING to help her kids now. Doing this while he was alive might have been the one thing to turn him around.

[DeadAndNotForSale]

My aunt and her husband got divorced before I was born. He was a businessman, and he lived in Newport Beach. My aunt and the rest of my family live in the Inland Empire (both CA). Around 12-14, her two daughters decided to go live with dad, who had money and live on Balboa Island. One of them holds a bit of a grudge, saying they didn't think their mom did a great job and that is why they left. Now, what she doesn't know is that my aunt often didn't eat in order to feed them. Their dad still owes her over $30,000 in child support. I am 37, so you can see this is a long time ago. My cousins are in their 40s now.

Anyway, we've joked that my aunt ought to put in her will that she is leaving the $30,000 in back child support to her kids as a final 'fuck you' to her ex.

Scott told Stern he needed $60k to maintain his lifestyle, and that included child support, daddy responsibilities, and any alimony. We have been told in several interviews that he loves the album making process, but has to tour constantly to make money. It doesn't take a genius to do the math there. So when we find out that he was missing checks and an absentee dad who CPS wouldn't let alone with the kids and refused to go to their events or invite them to his wedding...well, I think I feel a little lied to. I thought at the very least Scott would be honest about that.

My point in bringing up my family business is that I can understand why Mary is angry. Once you have a kid, you have fundamental responsibilities, and he was implying that he was doing those things, and it turns out he wasn't. People are complicated, so I can separate feeling contempt for him continuing the cycle of dads leaving kids and the part where I think he was a good soul who lost a battle. I can appreciate the talent and hate some of his actions.

Mary has a right to be very upset. That said, the timing here is questionable in that it does NOTHING to help her kids now. Doing this while he was alive might have been the one thing to turn him around.

Thanks for sharing.  I feel that even if Scott was missing child support payments (no matter how much they were), he gave those kids so much in the form of money.  I can tell he wasn't the world's greatest dad, that's apparent.  But Mary is insinuating that he cut Noah and Lucy out of his life and wasn't supporting them.  I guarantee that the kids and Mary have at the very least 2 - 3 million dollars strictly because of Scott. 

Again, this is none of our business and shouldn't even have been brought up by her.  I get it, Scott was most probably a pretty shitty parent in his last few years, but she shouldn't forget who the breadwinner was.  Those kids, although not having a healthy relationship with their father which is invaluable, won't ever have to worry very much about money in their lifetimes if it is managed correctly.  To me, that's worth something.

[Drew06]

All of this is making me think of Illegal I Song.

[lovemachine97]

Honestly, I have to wonder how much Scott was really liquid with over the last few years. I can't imagine he was making $60k a month on recent tours. That's roughly $4k a gig. I can't imagine radio play, backsales, and streaming is that lucrative for him in 2015. Maybe he was making it, but if he was, it was barely, I'd guess.

But that is still less than $750k a year. How much money was invested? Did Scott have a will? If not, it goes to his wife. She has no reason to give any to the kids and if she doesn't have a relationship with them or Mary, why would she?

I could be very wrong, but I have my doubts Mary and the kids have millions banked.

[Drew06]

Honestly, I have to wonder how much Scott was really liquid with over the last few years. I can't imagine he was making $60k a month on recent tours. That's roughly $4k a gig. I can't imagine radio play, backsales, and streaming is that lucrative for him in 2015. Maybe he was making it, but if he was, it was barely, I'd guess.

But that is still less than $750k a year. How much money was invested? Did Scott have a will? If not, it goes to his wife. She has no reason to give any to the kids and if she doesn't have a relationship with them or Mary, why would she?

I could be very wrong, but I have my doubts Mary and the kids have millions banked.

Mary supposedly wiped him clean when they got divorced. So between that and collecting 60K a month in child support for at least a few years, she should be fine financially. I'd imagine Scotts massive child support payments became impossible after he got himself dumped from STP. But who knows, he may have gotten a good chunk of cash from the lawsuit settlement with the band.

[Sklashboombash]

We've quickly gone from mourning our fallen rock-star to discussing his financial woes and family lifestyle. Congrats Mary, you did it.

[no morbid silence]

hi. first time commenter, new here but not to STP/scott just u guys gave me so much on here over the last few days to read, think about, relate to that i felt compelled to join. can't profess to have read every comment here so sorry if i repeat points. i agree that the letter is a little harsh and myopic. cause and effect is a motherfucker and who can say where this awful chain of events had it;s seeds sewn. a few things i will say is that it's not uncommon for the son to repeat the sins of the father especially when it comes to relationships - sad as that is. it's also not uncommon (speaking as one) for songwriters to say in song what they can't say or live up to in person, even project ideals.
yes we do care about our art over most things - it's not the standard norm but it does make us who we are so it;s unfair to love someones art and be judgemental of the way they prioritise it. it's just how we are wired, right or wrong and without it that art would most likely not exist much less be in public eye (especially in the big leagues like STP etc). i also think fans can't blame themselves unless they literally gave scott drugs etc - paying to go and see him and buying his records might just have been what kept him alive as long as he was - note that he dies the night of a cancelled show with less than 100 tickets sold for a 1000 seater (read this so sorry if it's not true). maybe his slide down the surface of fame was too much to get over without whatever saw him off that night? just an idea. and celebrating his work and life holds no shame - making him a deity possibly would but scott's real fans largely know his story so don;t see him as flawless. what this article does do a bit heavy handedly is remove sympathy and understanding for people who are as someone said earlier here 'lost in the fog' of addiction. it's odd to hear people saying his financial status kept his addiction going but simultaneously here he's stuck out on tour for money. it does paint a horrible picture of the downside of megastardom and the situation he was in the last few years. on my part, i wanted to see him in london last year, he cancelled before i made a decision (living colour, who i formed band because of and my brother was going to see were the same night and i'd seen videos of scott with this band and had no eagerness to see one of my heroes do a cruddy job and ruin his good track record) then in april it was cancelled again and i just lost touch. next thing i know he's dead and i find i missed him in september and the new album is out so feel like a bad fan. i'm usually a good one with all his released stuff and 3 STP shows and on VR under my belt, 12 bar blues one of my fave albums ever etc etc... (i know i'm with the big boys now so not boasting just giving u an idea!) and as a musician fully understand how much we difference support makes but tbh had no clue scott had slipped so far. i remember the howard stern interview and being bummed out after but he just got lost in the maelstrom of life and other shit being more in my face and therefore getting my attention/money/support. i've lost my thread but i just wanted to say a few things as i see folks feeling guilty supporting him and think that is absolutely wrong as a musician and a fan. how i wish i was not introducing myself after scott's passing but i wanted to be part of this great crowd. also the dude who did the interview and social media i only heard the other day. u seem like a staunch fan, a good guy and to have done the right thing to help and approach things he way u did, as far as i can tell. don't beat yourself up about anything. i have just been posting scott videos all weekend and resent the thought that could be a bad thing. peace. :-(