A letter from Mary.

[Slither]

I think some of you are missing the point. Read the last sentence of her statement, that's what it's all about. In order to get to that point, she had to air out some of the dirty laundry for it to be impactful.

She's not saying don't continue to listen to Scott's music because he was a shitty dad, she's saying take this opportunity to be better to your kids or pay attention to those who may not be getting the love they need. And why release this statement now instead of any time while he was alive you may ask? Just look at the attention his music and legacy is getting now compared to a week ago. This wouldn't have made Blabbermouth had it been released any earlier, much less Rolling Stone.

[Rol2292]

Blows me away that some people are still putting him on a throne. Sadly I believe everything she wrote. Some are enabling him even after death.

I couldn't agree more. Let's face facts here, Scott was a disaster in the later years. When would he have been able to perform the duties of a doting father? He was out on the road playing D markets to empty rooms.  He got their ages wrong - what caring/loving father does that??? Holy shit! 

And I think Mary's well within her right to express herself the way she has. She's been both mom and dad to these 2 kids. And I'm sure, she expressed these same sentiments to Scott when he was alive.

[Manxita]

Blows me away that some people are still putting him on a throne. Sadly I believe everything she wrote. Some are enabling him even after death.

I don't think we are, at least I am not. What most of us are condemning is the timing of this letter, and the fact that there was no need to be airing his dirty laundry when he has not even been buried yet.

Something was bothering me about the letter last night and I couldn't put my finger on it, and having slept on it I realized that I still couldn't see the point of it, not really. To me, Mary doesn't come across as classy on it she comes across as really, really bitter. I don't doubt that most (if not all) of what she wrote is true, but there are ways to say things and moments to say things. The timing was terrible.

Also, she contradicts her own book here. She wrote a whole book about being bipolar (and misdiagnosed at first as depressive, which meant they gave her the wrong meds)...and now it turns out that she is not bipolar? She also wrote about Scott and the children and said he was a good father. Now he wasn't? Did things change so much the last few years (which of course is entirely possible), or was she lying then, or is she lying now? And there's also the 60K allimony thing, and that post about her moving the children out of state...

I am ranting at this point, I am so confused by all of this, and all the contradicting information...

Scott was an addict, who was never able to really turn it around. His addiction took over his life and changed him, that much we can be certain. And we shouldn't glorify addiction, that is true, but I don't think any of us here are doing that. We are just appreciative of his artistry, which was undeniable.

[DrLymphNode]

A lot can change in seven years. She's not assassinating his character at all in the article, she's simply being blunt about the mental breakdown he had in recent years.

I was misdiagnosed as bipolar as well. It can happen. It's one of the most misdiagnosed things out there.

[megafonemaniac]

Very sad situation.


In addition, last Friday I think I remember seeing someone post something odd on Scott's Facebook page. Something about explaining his death to his kids. And I believe it was Slash's wife Perla, who posted it. I can't seem to find it now.


Anyone else notice that?
Not sure it was slashs wife though.

[SoftVinyl]

Blows me away that some people are still putting him on a throne. Sadly I believe everything she wrote. Some are enabling him even after death.

I don't think we are, at least I am not. What most of us are condemning is the timing of this letter, and the fact that there was no need to be airing his dirty laundry when he has not even been buried yet.

Something was bothering me about the letter last night and I couldn't put my finger on it, and having slept on it I realized that I still couldn't see the point of it, not really. To me, Mary doesn't come across as classy on it she comes across as really, really bitter. I don't doubt that most (if not all) of what she wrote is true, but there are ways to say things and moments to say things. The timing was terrible.

Also, she contradicts her own book here. She wrote a whole book about being bipolar (and misdiagnosed at first as depressive, which meant they gave her the wrong meds)...and now it turns out that she is not bipolar? She also wrote about Scott and the children and said he was a good father. Now he wasn't? Did things change so much the last few years (which of course is entirely possible), or was she lying then, or is she lying now? And there's also the 60K allimony thing, and that post about her moving the children out of state...

I am ranting at this point, I am so confused by all of this, and all the contradicting information...

Scott was an addict, who was never able to really turn it around. His addiction took over his life and changed him, that much we can be certain. And we shouldn't glorify addiction, that is true, but I don't think any of us here are doing that. We are just appreciative of his artistry, which was undeniable.

She wasn't airing dirty laundry. Anyone that knew a thing about Scott knew all this or assumed it was this way. Her purpose was to let people know that we, as fans, tend to place our favorite artists on a throne and don't bother realizing that it's not the best life for some. He was sick and people around him ignored quite a bit of who he really was and the lives left in his wake.

[JugeSTP]

Here's my take on it all... and this is just an opinion.

Mary is a little batshit. We all know that. She also cares deeply for her kids and she's "grown up" and made them her life's priority. Scott has not. Scott has always been a selfish junkie that has been completely incapable of maintaining any relationship, ever. His 2 marriages, his kids, STP, VR, Doug Grean. You name it. Every relationship he's had has deteriorated due to his demons.

Now I do think Mary is setting up another book. There are so many questions after her statement. Is she not bi-polar? How is this possible when her whole book was about dealing with the condition? Her comments about dating a "normal girl" feel like a subtle pot shot at Jamie. She hints that there is so much more she wanted to share but didn't to protect her kids. I mean, it's the perfect set up for more questions and drama.

And you know what, I'm not sure I can blame her. She has to provide for 2 kids. She's clearly bitter and angry that society is set up to enable a sick man to continue his death spiral. And if society is set up to capitalize on the illness of her father's children - to "chew him up and spit him out" - then it seems totally fair game for her to capitalize on that same society by releasing a book as a means to an end to providing for her kids. It would be one thing if she was always out in the public, always bashing Scott, and trying to be a celebrity. She's never done that. This would be for cash to provide for her kids. I'm not going to judge that too hard.

As far as Scott's side... I'm sure he has a reasonable gripe too. From his perspective I'm sure he felt like he was there for Mary when she had issues. And trust me, SHE HAD A LOT. She admits as much. And he felt abandoned when she wasn't there for him. Mary would tell you once you have kids it's time to grow up. Fair. Scott would tell you a disease doesn't pick and choose when to strike and the right thing to do is stand by your man and be there for the person that was there for you. Also fair. And yeah, I'm sure Scott didn't love visitations with some 3rd party observing how he interacts with his kids. I'm sure Scott's unstable nature forced Mary to distance herself and her kids from him. I'm sure Scott was crushed by that.

It's a two way street and there's no "right" and "wrong". I think Scott was surrounded by forces he was too weak to stand up to, unfortunately. The was a broken man in a lot of ways and as the Deleo's said that lifestyle fed into his unique genius to a degree. But it didn't have to.

The whole thing is sad. I feel like shit for supporting Scott's habits. I feel like shit for his kids. I'm not going to judge anyone here, including Mary. I'm not naive enough to say that her motivations are financial to some degree, but hey, we have to make money to live.

As far as "bashing Scott after he died" - I think her point is he died a long time ago. At least to them. If you look at his demeanor. His eyes. His performance. His personality... there's a lot of truth to what she's saying. He was a zombie going through the motions at the end. We all know it. And it's hard to get right and healthy when the world feeds on you behaving this way.

At least we have his music. It is a beautiful part of what he gave this earth. A unique and world class gift. Was it worth the baggage that came along with it? No. And I don't blame him for being sad or his kids/ex wife for being bitter and angry. But there's a lot of sadness now - not just them or Jamie but his bandmates, us the fans etc etc... So I'm sorry for y'alls loss too. Scott meant a lot to all of us here.

[JugeSTP]

One last thing... you know what kills me if you listen to "The man I didn't know" or Hazy Days... Scott was clearly broken about his father abandoning him. The fact that his kids feel like they suffered the exact same fate is brutal. You know deep down Scott would have killed to avoid that fate. Heartbreaking beyond words. I pray Noah and Lucy's kids never feel the same thing.

[BillMurraylovesSTP]

heart goes out to Mary and her kids
thats a strong woman.

[STPGurl]

One last thing... you know what kills me if you listen to "The man I didn't know" or Hazy Days... Scott was clearly broken about his father abandoning him. The fact that his kids feel like they suffered the exact same fate is brutal. You know deep down Scott would have killed to avoid that fate. Heartbreaking beyond words. I pray Noah and Lucy's kids never feel the same thing.

You just wrote what I was coming here to write.

Songs like that make me question how much of everything was just a total fucking lie. And then it makes me wonder how stupid I am for believing any of it, even though he flat-out told us he was lying. Somebody showed me. I was last to know.

[Aylin]

Of course he was sick and a shitty dad. He was a shitty human. He was shitty to fans for gods sake. He was pretty much mentally disabled for the last few years. Alienated eveyone, family friends.
What did Mary expect? It's not putting him on a pedestal - it's saying 'let it all go, don't go embarrassig him even further in death'. She can tell her children whatever she wants but she doesn't need to publish it 4 days after the mans death.

[Sklashboombash]

I sum this up in one sentence.

When we die, our ex-spouse is probably not the go-to person to spell our good grace.


There is definitely SOME truth in her letter. But it's not all truth. Just like Scott's version wouldn't be all truth.
I'm sure she's resentful in some way. And the underlying message of "not glorifying a drug-addict" is valid. But there are plenty of low-blows. And as mentioned above, there are some points that don't add up. And let's not forget that the money train (regardless how small) has now ended for her. And whatever legacy, (depending on Scott's will) doesn't involve her. So yeah, there's probably some bitterness there like..."this new wife, he just met recently is now in charge of his estate, grrr".

And I'm not absolving Scott of any wrong-doing. He has his faults. But the timing is shitty. The personal details are classless. And of course, the media will run with it, because it's a juicy story.

[DeadAndNotForSale]

Of course he was sick and a shitty dad. He was a shitty human. He was shitty to fans for gods sake. He was pretty much mentally disabled for the last few years. Alienated eveyone, family friends.
What did Mary expect? It's not putting him on a pedestal - it's saying 'let it all go, don't go embarrassig him even further in death'. She can tell her children whatever she wants but she doesn't need to publish it 4 days after the mans death.

Exactly.  It's a stretch to say that the point of her article was for us all to pay more attention to our kids (although she would like us to believe this); it's actually a thinly veiled cheap shot at Scott.  I get the feeling she detests the outpouring of love and support he has gotten over the last few days.  This was her chance to say, "Hey everyone, look at me.  You know about this man that you loved?  Well, he didn't love me nor my children the way he should have and you should know about it."

You know what, Mary?  We shouldn't know about it.  To act as if we, the fans, created the deadbeat dad is asinine.  You married the "junkie", you had kids with the "junkie", you demanded $60k a month from the "junkie". 

Don't let her pull the wool over our eyes.  It's very easy to see that she has ulterior motives in this piece.

[Slither]

One last thing... you know what kills me if you listen to "The man I didn't know" or Hazy Days... Scott was clearly broken about his father abandoning him. The fact that his kids feel like they suffered the exact same fate is brutal. You know deep down Scott would have killed to avoid that fate. Heartbreaking beyond words. I pray Noah and Lucy's kids never feel the same thing.

You just wrote what I was coming here to write.

Songs like that make me question how much of everything was just a total fucking lie. And then it makes me wonder how stupid I am for believing any of it, even though he flat-out told us he was lying. Somebody showed me. I was last to know.

I don't think it was a lie. I think Scott truly did love his kids and want to be there for them, he just loved that other thing a little bit more. I believe at one point he was a good father, and a better man, but as we've mentioned time and time again over the past few days, his demons got the better of him.

[Rol2292]

Of course he was sick and a shitty dad. He was a shitty human. He was shitty to fans for gods sake. He was pretty much mentally disabled for the last few years. Alienated eveyone, family friends.
What did Mary expect? It's not putting him on a pedestal - it's saying 'let it all go, don't go embarrassig him even further in death'. She can tell her children whatever she wants but she doesn't need to publish it 4 days after the mans death.

Exactly.  It's a stretch to say that the point of her article was for us all to pay more attention to our kids (although she would like us to believe this); it's actually a thinly veiled cheap shot at Scott.  I get the feeling she detests the outpouring of love and support he has gotten over the last few days.  This was her chance to say, "Hey everyone, look at me.  You know about this man that you loved?  Well, he didn't love me nor my children the way he should have and you should know about it."

You know what, Mary?  We shouldn't know about it.  To act as if we, the fans, created the deadbeat dad is asinine.  You married the "junkie", you had kids with the "junkie", you demanded $60k a month from the "junkie". 

Don't let her pull the wool over our eyes.  It's very easy to see that she has ulterior motives in this piece.

She married the junkie because at the time, she was one herself. There was an interview somewhere where Scott himself said she sat on his chest and told him she needed a man not a fucking child or something similar. She obviously cleaned herself up and grew up. She had to. So I don't think she's off base here. And if you wanna call it a money grab, go ahead, I don't think it is, but I'll cede the point. It was about glorifying a man that chose narcotics and alcohol over his kids. It was about a man that didn't invite his kids to his wedding. It was about a man that never saw fit to spend Father's Day with his son and daughter. It was about a man whose soul died years ago whose body passed last Thursday night. Bashing her is way off base. I mean, shit, I can't get over the fact that just last week Scott didn't even know how old his kids were. And regarding pictures with the kids, Brett may have taken the most recent one that I know of. But there were certainly plenty of pictures of him and Tommy Black boozing it up.