A letter from Mary.

[Lazy Divey]

God that was brutal, eye-opening, and sad.  I really feel for Scott's kids but from the sounds of it they did lose their father a long time ago.

Heartbreaking.

[lovemachine97]

It's funny, I read two things today that stuck out to me. One was the article about being in the paper business and that he was on a layover at an airport on Father's Day. Now, there lots of reasonable explanations for that, but Scott had the means to fly the kids to wherever he was for Father's Day, so it stuck out to me.

The other was in the article by the guy who interviewed Scott twice (and asked him to put his hood on for a photo the second time). When the guy asked Scott about who he was in 2005 he said getting his shit together and having kids for the first time. When he asked about 2015, Scott specifically mentions being a stepfather and mentions the kid's name, Wolfie. I thought it was weird he would mention the kid he has known for a couple years, but not the names of his flesh and blood.

...Then this letter.

There's a Third Eye Blind lyric that comes to mind here: "Time it passes and it tells us what we're left with/We become the things we do."

I think Scott was a troubled yet kind soul, but his decisions simply rotted him from the inside out. I am sure he had moments where he felt sorry for himself and I am sure he had legitimate moments where he felt awful about hurting people, hurting his kids. Mary describes such moments here. But ultimately all of us at any given time are our actions, not our aspirations. As Mary alludes to, she and the kids lost hope, not Scott. They lost the hope of the man they wished Scott would again be. They lost the hope of the man they knew he could be. They lost hope of the man Scott deep down wanted to be.

He once was that guy, but no longer. He became what he did. His decisions defined him. In Loving The Alien (Sometimes), Scott asks, "Am I still that man who makes you who you want to be?"

We got Mary's answer. Of course, her answer isn't the final answer. There are three sides to every story, and people are complicated. If Mary did move the kids away, Scott would have the ability to have a say, but if CPS actually was involved and he couldn't be along with them, then they likely would give very little weight to his side. That's yet another situation where you decisions define your life.

Of course, none of this takes away from Scott's talent and the mark he made on the music world. There are some things to admire about Scott--his artistry, that he was kind before the ugliness found its way inside of him, and that he commanded a stage like few before and few ever will. There are things not to admire about Scott. Luckily, as fans, we can learn from all of it. We have that distance. Noah and Lucy do not.

[Drew06]

Even IF all of Mary's claims are 100% true all this is going to do is cause more arguments and confusion. Like most, my parents are far from perfect, but the last thing I would want is someone to release all of their dirty laundry less than a week after they have been dead to one of the world's largest magazines.

[tommygunn]

That was an emotional read.. 

[Lazy Divey]

After reading that rebuttal I'm not sure what to think.  I'd like to think that Mary is exaggerating the situation, I mean she was the reason he had to tour to pay the 60k in child support every month but on the other hand he was an absolute mess so I'm not sure if we will ever hear the entire story.

[seattlesound]

I think we all were wondering what some people close to Scott would have to say... Mary being one of them of course. However, after reading her words one thing that stood out to me was that she almost seemed to be putting down the fact that the internet/bloggers are holding Scott's art on such a high level... to that I simply say what are we supposed to be doing?...

We are fans that heard Scott sing and watched him perform... that's how we know of him. We are not supposed to know all these personal things about his relationships with his family and kids. I feel like we are supposed to base our opinions of Scott Weiland through his music he recorded and the performances he did on stage... I'm not trying to make an excuse for the things Mary is saying about his relationships with his family... I'm simply saying to that, it's none of my business as a music fan to know that stuff. I didn't buy Scott Weiland/STP CD's as a teenager wondering what type of father Scott his in his personal life.

I don't know what the hell I'm even typing at this point guys... I just don't like that Mary's words seemed to be almost taking a shot at anyone who is out there saying something positive for Scott.

I'm aware of the fact that Scott has children who are now without a father, and it hurts to think about that... but having his ex wife blast onto the internet opening up Scott's dirty laundry isn't for me to know. I want to keep listening to the man's music if that's what I choose to do. I'd rather not know everything the guy did in his free time.

I don't know... it just comes off as a cheap shot... and I'm a music fan who has no real opinion.

That's honestly what I feel like I'm being told somehow by some of that letter.

[Aylin]

I think Mary's letter is also a thinly veiled condemnation of Scott's current wife . Sadly it certainly wouldn't be the first time the children are " replaced " after remarriage . Scott was a complete mess , and I get her anger , but I think when you marry a bipolar junkie you probably should anticipate it's not going to magically get better when you have kids . Maybe he resented having " chaperoned" visits , or maybe he was so deep in addiction , nothing mattered to him anymore . The fact she no longer claims to be bipolar is confusing as well . It all just sucks !!

I completelty agree with this. I think there is a little complex there about Scott moving on.

In general, I don't doubt the truth of the things she says, but I believe it is very disrespectful to bash Scott like this when he cannot defend himself any more. Why did she not speak up about this before? And to use the children? Very wrong.

Someone wrote a comment under the article that pretty much sums up what I think about Mary's letter:

"Basically, I chose to have two children with a man who, by no stretch of the imagination, was prepared for that responsibility. Why? Because I was just as dazzled as anyone by the man in the spotlight, and all the rock n' roll glam. Now that his body is barely cold, I'm stepping into the spotlight myself to cast a shadow on his memory and -- despite being the more practical one (the one who conceivably ought to have known better) -- to completely disregard my own part in creating this "mess". Please, remember him as a deadbeat dad, and think of me as the martyr who carries on with what was entirely his cross to bear."

I think it's wrong what Mary did. I think Mary didn't make it eash for Scott either. I think she should have been a little more respectful of the man she spent years worshipping and having 2 children with.

[justbill]

And now this.....


Joe Howard
28 mins ·
Wow! It's pretty funny that I sat at a lunch last week with Scott and Tommy Black and Scott was very upset at the fact that his ex moved the kids out if state and shut him out from them. He was upset and frustrated about it. We got into a "I miss my kids" conversation and he was visually upset by this. So much that I had to change the topic. I felt reading this that there were a bunch of cheap shots written and some untruths. Scott loved his kids and was totally upset by the situation between his ex and kids. The last thing he said was I haven't seen my kids in over a year and I love and miss them very much. Glasses came off and his eyes were red. Remember, there are three sides to every story. Scott is not here to defend himself so I had to at least share this. My heart goes out to his children.

I feel this was nothing more than a final opportunity for Mary, who wrote a book (basically) bashing Scott Weiland and made a good chunk of change from the sales of said book, solely, because it included the name "Scott Weiland" in it. There are and will always be two sides to every story. Media will post whatever they can for the clicks and attention. It's no secret Mary was awarded more than HALF of Scott's money — along with alimony and child support — from the divorce, she adds Scott was often late (gee, he must've been the first person in the world to do such a thing) with his child support payments and that Scott rarely saw the children.
 
Well, we've heard Mary's side. Let's ask Scott for his side of the story (because the world loves drama, right?). Ohhhh yeah, we can't ask him. Why? Because he died roughly four days ago! Great job, Mary — and great job with this — incredible, or impeccable timing, to get that last jab in on the man, all while plugging your book and taking a stab at religion/whatever his beliefs were. Beliefs that of which, were (truth be told) none of our business.

This was a letter from an ex, who sounds panicked. Maybe even bitter, after all, she threw a jab at his current wife. Mary wrote this, mostly to gain the sympathy of people, like us, who don't and will NEVER know both sides of the story (and to gain sympathy of the hardcore Bible thumpers, who will side with her, mostly because of the "atheist" remark). Her cashflow of whatever she was receiving, is now gone, mostly. So this was that attempt to possibly try go for another book deal.

It's hard to sympathize when you throw jabs at ones beliefs, and another's wife, all for the sake of attention. The only ones I truly feel sorry for in all of this, are the kids. Why? Because they're young. They've got their whole lives ahead of them. They're getting older, they... They're finding their voice and as they continue to grow. They had the opportunity to try and rebuild the communication with their Dad. Again, there's two (in some cases three and four) sides, to every story. WE, the fans, have no dog in this fight. This was and is not... IS NOT our fight. This was a private matter that should've stayed that way.

All Mary did here was open pandora's box, just to plug a book and toss some shade at Jamie, and it was definitely tossed way... Way too soon.

I mean, Scott's not even in the ground, yet. Poor timing. All of it.

[etcreative]

     Thoughts.....
Make no mistake Mary's letter is about more than her children, its about herself and $$$$.  After reading this I feel bad for Jamie and his kids mostly.  Lets remember Scott has a mother and father also....
I believe she's telling the truth from her perspective about this.  Its believable.  It mirrors much of stuff we heard from members of STP and VR.  To a degree I respect her point of view as a mother.  Her kids have been abandoned and they are shattered.  But she has to act like a grown woman and assume greater ownership for her actions.
Scott was a life long heavy drug addict and alcoholic.  They burn bridges and lie to support their addiction. And to make matters worst he's an artist....unfortunately if you read some credible biographies of these genius (actors, painters, musicians, writers, comedians etc.) you'll notice most of them are full blown narcissists.  They think they are better than you and me and nothing is more important to them than their 'art' and 'creativity'. 
I can easily see him neglecting others to spend all of his time doing the things he loved (writing music, playing music, and doing drugs). 
Today, I believe he never got clean.  He identified himself as a chronic relapser.  He would try and fail again. The circles these musicians travel in make it near impossible to get clean (old playmates and playgrounds).  I think his addiction systematically alienated him from anyone he would have to answer to.
I also believe the heavy drug use caused brain damage.  I've watched tons of interviews and performances and there is evidence to support this.  He admitted to large parts of his life being totally lost in his memory. This would account for some of the things STP and she said.
Okay get ready for real grown up talk.....You may not like it.....I don’t agree with her airing her personal family's dirty laundry with (rolling stone magazine of all places) the mass media after the guy dies.  In think its unhealthy for her family and a classless act.  These kind of issues should be handled by trained professionals behind closed doors.  These celebrities have no shame.  The narrative that the fans should feel guilty about enabling Scotts addiction is bullshit.
Yes, his addiction destroyed his family and his relationship with his two children, but that’s not our fault. That’s his and hers.  Most of his fans are grown ass adults we can read between the lines and don’t need a full spread in RS magazine to shed light into the disease of addiction and the damage it does to families. 
Mary takes little responsibility in her letter.  Now all the sudden she's not bi-polar?  Truth is if you read their biographies it sounds like they are both 'borderline personality'.  Similar pathologies attract each other.  And yes, she is an addict as well.....hope she hasn’t forget her 12 step program.
She chose to live that lifestyle with that man and bear his children.  These are the consequences.  She suggests we (the fan's or society) should feel somehow culpable for Scott's self destruction and poor parenting?
Ironically I bet if someone offered her a million dollars (tomorrow) for all the 'down and dirty' details about her children’s father she wouldn’t think twice about smearing the mans name....(oh that’s right she still uses his last name).
I also think people (like her) underestimated how much this man was respected and loved for his talents.  I'm actually pleasantly surprised how much publicity and respect his work has received from the mass media since his passing.  Guys he was good and its deserving.  He had his major flaws - but he earned that.
In the end its all politics.   Why feel the need to tell us he's an atheist?  After reading her 'letter' I feel a lot of the negative energy that us fans have felt on the outer edges of the network were generated from Scott's dysfunctional inner social circles.
All of these people that have offered testimony on Scott (Dean, Mary, Matt, Slash, Richard Patrick etc) all happen to be addicts themselves.  When we read their 'finger pointing' we are experiencing their version of problem solving and family conflict. (victim, persecutor, rescuer -triangle) repeatedly.
If no one cared about his death she wouldn’t feel so compelled to offer her point of view.  The opposite of love isn’t hate...its indifference....Mary clearly has unresolved feelings.  Scott hurt her and her children.
60k a month is one hell of a child support payment.  I'm sure there was some major family conflict over that over the years.  Mary also seems a bit bitter towards him starting over with Jamie and her family.  I can understand why.
I guess one would have to ask themselves, who gets most of the money from those ("depressing" 1967-2015 Scott Weiland) T-Shirts that sell?
I feel horrible about this.  I feel nothing but sadness for Scott and his family.  I still cant bear to listen to anything of his music since his passing and I've listened to him almost every day of my life.  I grew up with him. As Scott's music evolved so did I. I didn't know him personally.  I've never met him.  He was a very flawed person I'm sure.  But I still love the guy....
     
 
 

[NickLorenza]

I can't remember the last time I've read something so heartbreaking.

[CritterTypeThing]

Even IF all of Mary's claims are 100% true all this is going to do is cause more arguments and confusion. Like most, my parents are far from perfect, but the last thing I would want is someone to release all of their dirty laundry less than a week after they have been dead to one of the world's largest magazines.

My thoughts exactly. 

Of course we could never put ourselves in their shoes.  If her claims are close to 100% then I can only imagine how frustrating it is to keep hearing people honor and recognize Scott's talents and impact on the industry; all the while the front of their minds are occupied with his absence and failures in their lives, for however long it may have gone on for.

But why the need to come out with it now to one of the two highest industry publications?  Has the man even had a proper funeral yet?

I am not, nor would I ever suggest she is wrong for feeling the way that she does (and whatever influence the children had in the note as well), but I just feel like if she took the time to point out how she bit her tongue in her book, then why couldn't she just bite it a little longer?

Bad people, troubled people, whatever people die every day.  To me, this time is for those who wish, to honor the good of the human life that has now been lost.  Honoring Scott's amazing talent and natural artistic abilities is natural from anyone who only knows him from the public side of life.  We loved Scott a different way than his family & friends, and vice versa.  And by us recalling the greatness of his art, is not us forgiving the negatives and failures that we knew of.  Nor is it us condoning it.  Nor is it being naïve and assuming he was an angel in private. 

EVERYONE is grieving.  I don't think there's a right or wrong to it.  This is just her/their way right now, and she is obviously protecting her babies and I get her message re: her children.  I just personally don't see what this letter does right at THIS moment.  But then again, I've made posts on here the past few days that I'm sure have contradicted and/or changed based on the flow of my emotions.  And I'm just a guy on the other side of the country.

This just sucks.  I keep finding myself stopping and saying to myself "wow...he's really gone..."
I'm a mess. I'm thankful for this site and I'm thankful that no one has been jumping down each others throats or arguing points.  I look forward to the time where mourning can start to shift focus to celebrating the memories; if not of the person he was, atleast the art.



And yes, reading this I also thought I picked up a subtle disapproval of Scott's widow.

This sucks...why should I feel guilty for loving and supporting the man's beautiful art?

[lovemachine97]

I am sure that there are things that, with some extra information, would make more sense from Scott's side. But if CPS--not that I am a huge fan of theirs--is not allowing you to be alone with your children, there is probably good reason, especially with what we know of Scott.


Why were the kids not invited to the wedding? There could be an explanation for that. I got married in June. Family kids were at the wedding, but then we had a 'kids party' at my in-laws instead of paying $55 a plate for them to not eat the food. However, Scott's wedding was at his home with 'close friends,' according to their statement, so who knows? Could it be that he knew he was going to get super fucked up? Maybe.


One thing that doesn't make sense to me is that the guy who made the drunken, slurring Christmas album all of a sudden has a problem seeing his kids' Christmas Eve plays because he is atheist? What? I think that deserves more explanation. 

[Aylin]

One thing that doesn't make sense to me is that the guy who made the drunken, slurring Christmas album all of a sudden has a problem seeing his kids' Christmas Eve plays because he is atheist? What? I think that deserves more explanation.

I also don't think the Christmas thing makes sense - he still mentioned Christmas songs in his interviews, i doubt  he was a 'born again atheist' who rejected anything Christian as a matter of principle, to the extent of not going to kids christmas plays!! That's a very very strict stance on beliefs and I doubt Scott had it in him to even have strict stance on anything anymore.

The more I read the letter, the angrier I'm getting.
It was a cheap blow that Mary delivered. Regardless of everything they went through and that Scott became,  it is not right what she did.  Mary is not the innocent martyr who talked Scott off ledges evey time he got paranoid and who was left to raise the kids penniless. She thrived on that drama and on Scott's disability. I think she was a spoilt wannabe who now has the kids giving her immunity to any wrongdoing, because she can play the 'poor suffering ex wife' card.
Like I said before, if she really wanted to be constructive, why not go public with this before? Maybe a little public shaming could have done some good? Maybe because she know Scott would have and equal of amount of damning truths about her. And now the 60K paychecks have stopped, how else would Mary be able to squeeze the final drops from the great Scott Weiland.
I wouldn't be surprised if she starts printing the tshirts herself.
Very angry at Mary...

[Lazy Divey]

And now this.....


Joe Howard
28 mins ·
Wow! It's pretty funny that I sat at a lunch last week with Scott and Tommy Black and Scott was very upset at the fact that his ex moved the kids out if state and shut him out from them. He was upset and frustrated about it. We got into a "I miss my kids" conversation and he was visually upset by this. So much that I had to change the topic. I felt reading this that there were a bunch of cheap shots written and some untruths. Scott loved his kids and was totally upset by the situation between his ex and kids. The last thing he said was I haven't seen my kids in over a year and I love and miss them very much. Glasses came off and his eyes were red. Remember, there are three sides to every story. Scott is not here to defend himself so I had to at least share this. My heart goes out to his children.

I feel this was nothing more than a final opportunity for Mary, who wrote a book (basically) bashing Scott Weiland and made a good chunk of change from the sales of said book, solely, because it included the name "Scott Weiland" in it. There are and will always be two sides to every story. Media will post whatever they can for the clicks and attention. It's no secret Mary was awarded more than HALF of Scott's money — along with alimony and child support — from the divorce, she adds Scott was often late (gee, he must've been the first person in the world to do such a thing) with his child support payments and that Scott rarely saw the children.
 
Well, we've heard Mary's side. Let's ask Scott for his side of the story (because the world loves drama, right?). Ohhhh yeah, we can't ask him. Why? Because he died roughly four days ago! Great job, Mary — and great job with this — incredible, or impeccable timing, to get that last jab in on the man, all while plugging your book and taking a stab at religion/whatever his beliefs were. Beliefs that of which, were (truth be told) none of our business.

This was a letter from an ex, who sounds panicked. Maybe even bitter, after all, she threw a jab at his current wife. Mary wrote this, mostly to gain the sympathy of people, like us, who don't and will NEVER know both sides of the story (and to gain sympathy of the hardcore Bible thumpers, who will side with her, mostly because of the "atheist" remark). Her cashflow of whatever she was receiving, is now gone, mostly. So this was that attempt to possibly try go for another book deal.

It's hard to sympathize when you throw jabs at ones beliefs, and another's wife, all for the sake of attention. The only ones I truly feel sorry for in all of this, are the kids. Why? Because they're young. They've got their whole lives ahead of them. They're getting older, they... They're finding their voice and as they continue to grow. They had the opportunity to try and rebuild the communication with their Dad. Again, there's two (in some cases three and four) sides, to every story. WE, the fans, have no dog in this fight. This was and is not... IS NOT our fight. This was a private matter that should've stayed that way.

All Mary did here was open pandora's box, just to plug a book and toss some shade at Jamie, and it was definitely tossed way... Way too soon.

I mean, Scott's not even in the ground, yet. Poor timing. All of it.

Those are some good points.  I mean if things were as dark as she states why not go public sooner instead of right before his actual funeral?

[Westenn]

 I’m defending Scott, First the Man just died...Have they moved the body to LA yet?  No matter what happened, Scott died & R We the only ones who care?!  VR Set Me Free   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3g5CSeBzUE

Wife 2…If it weren’t for US, U would have never lived that fancy lifestyle that in the end cost him dearly.  Sooo, U should be thanking US for paying your bills for all these years…& “great choice” to teach your children how to say goodbye to their Father…

It's wrong on so many levels