When I woke up and read the news, I wasn’t shocked or surprised…just sad. I had to go to work, and while there, kept up appearances. Throughout the day, I kept thinking about how he is now gone and appreciative of the music he shared with us and that he will live on through that. Once I got home, I started to read all of the tributes, articles, comments, etc. While I read these things, I had my Scott playlist playing – consisted of everything that he had done – solo, with bands, etc. During this time, I cried and then once done, thought that I had cried all that I could.
Today, I came to this site to read more tributes…and then read this in the 'Tributes to Scott' thread:
“In the comments, Dave Kushner’s wife says that the last thing Scott said to her, a month ago, was “please get VR back together”.”
My heart broke – starting crying again…this was so sad. Before this happened, I kept hoping that maybe Scott would realize that he had to get his shit straight – if not for himself, then for his kids. I can’t imagine what they are going through.
I remember when I first heard STP when they released Core. Unfortunately, I was one of the guilty ones who wrote them off as Pearl Jam clones. After a while, ‘Big Empty’ happened. Couldn’t stop playing that song on ‘The Crow’ soundtrack. Then…’Vasoline’ happened. Couldn’t believe this was the same band that I had written off as Pearl Jam clones. Once ‘Purple’ came out, I couldn’t stop listening to it…at that point, I was a fan for life. Throughout the years since, with all the troubles that Scott went through, I was still a Scott fan, still bought everything that he sang on.
I’m glad that I was fortunate enough to see Scott sing live (3 with STP, 1 with VR). I had tickets to see him live during his ‘Purple to the Core’ tour, but after seeing some You Tube videos and reading reviews, I couldn’t bring myself to go. Just couldn’t witness, in person, someone who was a shadow of his former self. I wanted to retain my memories of the man who was constantly moving on stage, singing his heart out.
I just wish this hadn’t happened. I wish Scott was still with us. I wish that he could have conquered his demons. I wish that he could have recaptured the passion and energy that he had before things changed after he was dismissed from VR. That to me, is when everything seemed to really change for Scott.
Anyway, I could go on and on. This is already a novel, so I won’t.
I will finish by saying this – thank you Scott. Thank you for the music you shared with us. Thank you for the music that has lifted me from dark places. Thank you for the music that will allow you to live on in our hearts and minds…I will miss you terribly.